Connection Failure
by SilentVex
Summary: What is the terrible secret that hides within Beacon's dormatories? Will Team RWBY and Team JNPR pull through? Will Ren ever have a moments peace? Find out now!


**Author's notes: 'Sup people, SilentVex here with his first RWBY story! *cue dramatic fanfare*  
**

**So I thought of this a week ago when I made an absolute pig's ear of trying to set up our new router and had to rage quit it. At least the old one works when you plug it in... Just goes to show how ideas can come out of nowhere.**

**This is the first story I've written just for the sole purpose of being funny so bear with me if it's not. If it is, then good job me and all the best for the future.**

**I hope you enjoy and hopefully I'll write another sometime soon.**

**- Vex out!**

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**Connection Failure**

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Beacon Academy: an establishment known as one of the premier producers of exceptional Huntsmen and Huntresses. It was a place that many young people aspired to pass through one day during the course of their studies... it would be interesting to see just how many of them would change their minds had they known about Beacon's dark secret...

Lie Ren was not an impatient person, nor was he easily irritated but being broken out of his meditations at least once a day could become rather taxing on his nerves. He pulled out his earphones and looked at who had just shattered his peace.

''Yes?''

It was a girl, one who was a member of another of the teams living in the dorm along with Team JNPR.

''Excuse me Ren, Miss Nikos asked me to come find you. She says it's happened again.'' The true frequency of 'again' was such that Ren was nowhere near surprised of it anymore. In the weeks since arriving at Beacon, the novelty of such a thing wore off almost instantaneously. The information did not even dignify a response as he got up and left the dorm lounge – his sanctuary – to observe how they were handling it this time.

The door to his destination was clogged up with a large gathering of students brought here with mixed emotions; desire to set things right; curiosity of how the two teams currently in the room would act; fear of what would happen to them should they get in the way of said teams.

Rather than push through, Ren merely stood, arms folded, and watched.

''Ugh! That is it, I've had enough!'' Weiss yelled. She pulled out her cellphone and began inputting numbers.

''''Weiss what're you doing?''

''What does it look like: I'm calling for help.''

''No! No way, not this time!'' Ruby snatched the phone away before Weiss could finish.

''What are you doing Ruby?!''

''You can't just keep calling for your servants to come sort things out whenever there's a problem! You'll never learn to do things for yourself if you do,'' Ruby said.

Weiss couldn't believe what she was hearing. ''If I call them, then this problem will be solved in minutes. Beside that, I don't call my _staff _here for everything.''

''You sure? What about the time when-''

''Girls, please, just leave this to me.'' Although he successfully cut off the pair from starting what would escalate into a petty fight between them, Jaune now had to tread lightly lest he lose what small foothold he had and plummet into the endless abyss he was currently balancing over.

''Oh really? Well why don't you tell us how you plan to fix this?'' Weiss challenged.

''My dear Weiss, you clearly don't know the most simple and effective methods of dealing with broken technology: turn it off and back on again!''

If looks could kill then Jaune would have been encased in 10 feet of ice, shipped to the northern ice lands and left there for eternity, doomed to be a freaky idol for the native penguin population until the end of days. Odds are, with her connections, that was a very real possibility when it came to pissing off the Schnee heiress.

''Umm, Jaune? I don't think that actually works.'' Pyrrah tried to offer her team-mate a lifeline before the abyss swallowed him (as it inevitably would) but, as expected, he paid no notice.

Brushing her off by saying, ''Pyrrah, trust me on this,'' as he usually would, he sauntered past Blake and Yang, who were doing the mature thing of looking to the computer to try and fix the broken connection, and over to the router and Nora who – in her own way – was trying to solve the problem.

''Who's a good internet? You're a good internet. Wanna start working for us now? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top?''

… in her own way.

A horrified gasp emitted from her as Jaune switched off the box, causing all blinking lights to go off. She remained frozen with a look of pure terror on her face for the next few minutes until all lights had been resurrected. She sighed a breath of relief. Ren covered his eyes with a hand and shook his head, hoping that she really didn't believe that the box just 'died'.

''Still nothing,'' Blake said. Yang groaned impatiently.

''Way to go genius, why don't you show us what other miraculous methods you have?'' Unlike Yang, Weiss was making no effort to hide her frustrations.

''Hey, at least he's trying to do something.'' Ruby shot, dashing to her friend's aid.

Rather than engage in further pointless bickering, Weiss replied, ''Whatever! Pyrrah, do you have any ideas?''

''Unfortunately I cannot say that I do. You see, I have never been very good with-''

''THE INTERNET MUST DIE!''

''No, calm down Nora!''

All eyes turned to the shouts. Nora was violently jerking towards the router, her hammer Magnhild held high in her arms ready to destroy anything in its path, while Yang was grappling with her in valiant effort to save the only link to the internet they had in the building.

''I HAVE TO BREAK IT! IT'S THE ONLY WAY IT'LL LEARN!''

''Breaking it isn't going to fix this!'' Yang grunted as he held back the surprisingly strong Nora.

''You sure about that? You didn't seem to have a problem breaking the last one we had Yang.'' Blake smirked at her snide comment. That freak out was not one that she would let Yang forget any time soon.

''Not-helping-Blake!''

By now the others had gathered to help Yang in her struggle – minus Blake who was still sitting in her seat and Pyrrah who looked on having no idea how to proceed.

Before things escalated any further, Ren decided it was time to step in. He pushed his way through the crowd and into the room. Pyrrah met his appearance with a wide smile. ''Oh Ren, thank goodness. Could you maybe-''

''Sure.'' The sooner he got returned balance to the world the sooner he could go back to napping – or rather 'meditating'. Blake tagged out from the computer to let him do his thing, looking over his shoulder to try and remember what it was he would do for the inevitable next time.

''Done.''

Everybody froze in their respective positions: Nora with Magnhild held high, Weiss and Ruby each clinging onto one of her arms, Yang with her arms wrapped around her waist and Jaune... laying on the ground having been defeated.

From outside the room masses of scurrying feet could be heard as the students all returned to their computers and laptops, now reconnected to the world at large.

''Thank you Ren,'' Pyrrah said, grateful that it was over.

''No problem,'' was all he said as he departed.

Weiss removed herself, clearing her throat as she attempted to reclaim her composure. ''Well, I have some important business to take care of so if you'll excuse me.'' She strutted off, leaving the room a little more empty, Ruby quickly following suit to get back to the weapons catalogue she had been looking at.

Nora danced off singing something about cats to herself.

Blake tried to silently disappear, most likely to read some more fanfiction, but was caught by Yang, who slung her arm over the girl's shoulder.

''Hey Blake, wanna check out some cute boys with me?''

''Not particularly.''

''Oh come on it'll be great! Trust me, there's this one British guy who you'll love. I mean, sure he has a big nose, but...'' The conversation fell into silence as Blake was pretty much taken against her will out of the room.

Pyrrah looked at Jaune and offered a hand. ''Quite an interesting group of friends we've got.''

''You're telling me,'' he replied taking her hand and getting pulled up to his feet. ''Want to take a bet on how long it takes for us to go through that again?''

''Please don't jinx it Jaune...'' she begged.

…

Six hours, thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds is the answer in case you were wondering.


End file.
